Chinese wedding receptions

In Chinese society, the wedding reception is known as xǐ-jǐu (literally, joyful wine) and is far more important than the wedding itself, which tends to be a brief civil ceremony. Unlike Western tradition, the groom's family pays all the wedding and reception expenses. The timing and the characteristics of the reception vary widely from locale to locale. They are often elaborate and expensive, and may cost the groom's family several years' income. However, because cash (in red envelopes) and jewelry (particularly gold) are given as wedding presents, the cost of the reception is effectively split among the wedding guests. Wedding receptions also build solidarity in the local community. As each couple weds, their wedding reception is effectively financed by gifts from the other members of the community, with the expectation that the new couple and their family will give gifts at future wedding receptions within the village.

This includes the Chinese in mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan, Singapore, and Malaysia.

Brides' dress

Red/pink/crimson/firebrick/magenta/maroon/tomato are safe; no black, white, or navy blue.

Gifts

Unless the wedding couple has a wedding registry, it is best not to give gifts or gift certificates. For Chinese weddings, cash or a check is always the best gift. In addition to that, some elder relatives might also give gold jewelry. The cash or check should be in a red envelope or red pocket with the givers' names on it, and it is always given when signing in at the restaurant. Avoid any combination with the number 4; it is an unlucky number. Also, never use a white envelope to wrap cash or a check for a wedding.

Timing

There are two times listed on the invitation: (greeting) and (reception). Typically, they are at least two hours apart (some may be four hours). The first one is the time the groom and bride, along with their family, will be ready to receive guests and greet them; the second one is the time the reception/banquet will start. The gap between those hours is referred to as entertainment time. Very often, the restaurant will provide poker and májiàng for gambling; the time can also be used to socialize with other guests and take photos with the bride/groom and their families. Nowadays, in the U.S., you are less likely to see májiàng being played before the banquet; it is often replaced by a cocktail party. However, if the wedding reception takes place in southern China, Hong Kong, Macau, and even Canada (where there is a large Cantonese population), májiàng might still be played before the dinner.

Sign-in

Two people will be at the sign-in tables (one from the bride’s family and one from the groom’s) to register guests and receive gifts/red envelopes. Often, they will have two separate guest lists, one from the groom’s side and one from the bride’s. Then the best man and the maid of honor will direct ushers to escort guests to their seat.

Banquet procedure

Typically, the banquet will include a speech from the parents, the best man, the maid of honor, and the guest speaker. There will be cake cutting, toasts, a tea ceremony,some games designed by the DJ, and dancing. The two tables at the center of the room are for the groom’s and bride’s families.

Food

A Chinese wedding reception typically has nine or ten courses. Expensive dishes such as shark fin, abalone, lobster, jumbo shrimp, squab, sea bass, or sea cucumber are common on a wedding banquet menu. The average cost of higher-end menus ranges from USD$1,000 to $1,600 per table.

Wedding costs in Chongqing vary from around RMB 1000–2000 per table of ten people. Ten-person round tables are almost always used in southwest China. The menu will include a variety of foods normally off the establishment's set wedding menu, and the price will include the banquet room, the food, a cake, a bottle of wine, A/V equipment, and staff.

Some Westerners may not feel comfortable seeing dishes with a fish head, chicken head, or pig head; however, a whole fish, chicken, or pig means luck and completeness in Chinese wedding culture.

Traditionally, after the fifth dish of the dinner, the groom and bride and their families will approach each table to toast the guests. If the groom or the bride cannot drink, it is the best man, bridesmaid, or usher group’s responsibility to drink for them. Very often, the bride will change into a traditional Chinese red wedding dress ( or qí páo) at that time.

Guests are welcome to take leftovers home. Taking home the remaining food indicates appreciation of the groom and bride’s choice of food.

About twenty minutes after the tenth (last) dish is served, the groom and bride, along with their families, will line up at the entrance/exit to bid the guests farewell and thank them for coming. It is not polite to leave before the last dish is served.